Disentangled

Me and Ex-Occasional Housemate were in one of they wee yellow diggers. She was driving so it was all under control on the roundabout, except it wasn't; we got squashed by a big white lorry and it was horrible.

Dead hard getting out of bed this morning so it was. Dark and post-weekend murky and glrrrrgh. Cold at work in the half-built house with nae doors or windaes; even colder after kneeling in the post-leak puddle sorting it out. Now I'm camped in the library, half-dry and starting to feel all snuggly-warm-sleepy. Could right handle sloping off home to a plate of hot stew and a cuddle with my neighbour's wee dog, but now it's time for the dreaded Driving Lesson. An hour lurching about the city centre in the half-light and rain, trying to predict what any number of mad buggers are going to do at any given moment, for my sins. Oh well.

- so y'know how people say, "a face like a duck's arse"? Well he got it muddled up and accused the lady in question of having "an arse like a duck's face". Laughed so much picturing it that I woke meself up.

"Nodrag" (pron. nod-rag)

Thanks to Hungarian neighbours for that.

(This whole trousers project isn't interesting me quite as much as I thought it would. Oh well.)

Put your fucking phone away.

Go and have your "meeting" outside. Preferably on the A9.

Stop breathing like that.

Jeeeeeeeeeeeesus. I need the internet at home.

Lecturer: "Did I give yez out that British Standard?"

Fat boy: "Aye, you gave it to me, eh."

Lecturer: "And what d'you do with it, eat it?"

"Hose" (pron. ho-se

Apparently, it's a sort of dialect of German. Thanks to the pair of Austrian tourists who were looking for the library for that one.

( - and just why is it, by the way, that I get stopped at least twice a week by foreigners trying to find somewhere? Is it just cos there's a lot of tourists about cos this is when they get their holidays, and I do spend a lot of time in the station/bus station part of town? Is it cos I'm usually alone and therefore approachable? Is it cos I'm a bit tatty-looking, and therefore approachable? Hmmmm.)

Spied at college, in white block capitals on a black tee:

BAW
BAG

Ye-es.

I should imagine you probably are.

Emblazoned across my neighbour's chest in fading DIY black ink:

SUCK IT

"And how izzat funny, darlin'?"

he enquires in his smoked-out Central Belt rasp.

Oh Fraser. It just... Is.