- so we moved house, me and my dodgy knees and a marriage worth of crap. Moved up to the rat sanctuary last night, in a horsebox, with only a minor pickle spillage to annoy us.

Quote of the move (as pickle seeped slowly but surely towards my matress):

"How would you like to sleep in chutney tonight?"

Never usually been asked that before the fourth date -

- must go and feed the ferret. Seeya.