Disentangled

I've just been listening to Kirsty MacColl on youtube, and what a bloody talent she had. The knack of succinct-ness; saying in 2 lines what it takes me 3 paragraphs to witter; the music that gets right inside your skin and makes you feel - I dunno - justified? She shoulda lived, made more music, or at the very least not been mangled by a speedboat in front of her kids. Rest in peace, Kirsty - you were bloody marvellous.

- listen to Kirsty McColl's "Don't come the cowboy with me, Sonny Jim". There's a line, it's pure genius, is goes:

" - I fell out of favour with Heaven somewhere and I'm here for the hell of it now"

It kept me going all the way through the last year of uni in the manky bedsit with the mental neighbours and the dumped-ness and the brandy.

Respond to this, ask for a year to write about, and write a post about what you were doing in that year.

Prydwen gave me 1996.

I was a good girl til 1996 - top of my class at school; too busy studying to bother with the pub and too weird for boys to bother with me. Then I got my unconitional acceptance for uni and decided to take a bit of a break... discovered the pub, and snakebite and black, and fags, and older men who were only after one thing... oh, it was such fun! Felt pretty and happy for the first time in my life. Spent the summer working in the chippy and running wild at night.

Went off to Aberdeen uni in September... I mind the bus pulling into the city and it was so big and bright and noisy after 17 years in the back of beyond, I'll never forget the thrill of being so so sure that my real life was just about to start.

I was mates with Andy and Carine, they lived in a flat - a real flat! - just down the road from my halls. We went out on the piss every night of the week, and I picked up all kinds of undesirable men and did all kinds of things with them... uni wasn't going so well; never quite got the knack of turning up for class on a regular basis.

The week before my 18th I managed to get hit by a car and spent a few days in hospital with concussion, shock and puncture wounds. Nobody wondered where I was. I had to buy a pair of jamas from the hospital shop to go home in cos they'd cut my trousers off me and there wasn't anybody to visit with clean clothes.

After I got out of hospital I got myself involved in something I don't want to blog about just in case anybody from work's secretly reading. But it wasn't very bloody clever.

Then I met Dave, a classmate of Andy's and we had a brief fling behind his fiancee's back ( I know... I really was a horrible selfish cow). I was smitten with him, he had the brightest bluest eyes and a magnetism that I couldn't explain or resist. (Several years later I came across a story in a magazine by an ex of his, apparently he'd attacked her and bitten her face during a row. Why can I never recognise a psycho when I pull one?)

Through the non-clever activity I met Clare, a lesbian, and we had a really screwed-up attempt at a relationship. She was a mess of guilt and defiance and addiction; I don't suppose I was much better. She was completely obsessed with me, said I "shone". She also tried to strangle me while I was sleeping.

I met Dodgy Danny at the same time - now, he was completely mad about Clare, but being a lesbian she wasn't interested. She was completely mad about me, but to be totally honest I was secretly in love with Danny. But he wasn't interested in me cos he was so into Clare... of course, we all ended up going to bed with each other at various stages. What a mess!

By this point, Andy and Carine had washed their hands of me, I'd dropped Sociology, was failing Psychology and hadn't been to a French class for months.

Then it was Christmas and time to go home to home to Mum and Dad and show them what I'd made of myself in 3 months of the leash. Poor parents!

Anybody else fancy a year?

it's nice to be a lunatic!

and I thought to meself, I bet Dafter likes that song. Do ya?

Well, trainers. Those canvas ones with a white rubber bitty on the toe like Converse, is that a baseball trainer? They're navy blue and they've got "Fat Willys" written on the side in neon, and they make me smile cos I'm quite peurile really.

What was the last song you sung and how long ago did you sing it?
That Scissor Sisters one that goes "I can't decide whether you should live or die", last night wobbling about the portakabin spilling wine everywhere.

What was the last joke you told?
About the tantric sexual position called The Plumber - you stay in all day but nobody comes.

What was the last joke you heard?
Cannae mind.

What was the last thing you pinched and who did you pinch it from.
Occasional Housemate's orange juice this morning.

What do you wish you had that you haven't already got
I'd like to own the portakabin.

What is your greatest fear?
Losing my apprenticeship again.

What is your earliest memory?
Getting put to bed when it was still sunny outside, and crying cos I wanted to go out and play but couldn't speak yet, and getting given some toy and thinking noooooooooo, this is not what I was asking for.

Aside from property what is the most expensive thing you bought?
My bike, 15 years ago, for £150. Only time in my life I've spent money and got something to show for it.

What would your super power be?
Perfect memory.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?
I'd've looked after my teeth.

Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it?
Dunno... still making up my mind what "love" is, but have always believed it at the time when I've said it.

What is the closest you've come to death?
Car accident 11 years ago.

How would you like to be remembered?
A strong person who did their own thing.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you to date?
Peace of mind is remembering to appreciate when there isn't a crisis going on, and accepting things as they are when you can't change them.

Spent the weekend in Ullapool with Green-eyed Fisherman and his kids. It was allright. Woke up this morning in my own bed, spent an hour and a half looking for my glasses, drank 3 litres of orange juice and the hangover went away. Occasional Housemate is chilling out with radio 2 and a book on self-sufficiency; I'm just in from playing with the dogs. Twatting about the yard in my pyjamas and balaclava in the sunshine with 3 mad collies who love me. My life is brilliant. I'm so glad I didn't abandon it and go and tag onto the end of his instead. Very happy.